Child and Lion

One day a goat with her small child went into forest for food.

Unfortunately, they forget their way back to home and was stuck in the forest at the night.

A Big lion came and saw the goat and her child.

The goat took her child nearer to her and thought that lion will definitely eat both of them.

Lion came nearer to them and put his hands on the child and pampered her and told that "No fear, My Dear. I don't have any sisters so now onwards you are my sister and I am your brother".

Then he gave chocolates, biscuits to the child and ask goat to come to his room with his husband for lunch and also ask her to celebrate raksha bandhan with him and gave her his visiting card and he promised the goat that "tell me if any one attack you or threaten you". Then he left the place with smiley face.

Finally the goat got surprised and told her child....
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"I think Elections are coming...!!!!!"

farmer's donkey fell down into a well.

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well.The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.  He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.  A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well.  He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up. As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!  MORAL : Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a stepping stone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up!  Shake it off and take a step up. Remember the five simple rules to be happy:  1. Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.  2. Free your mind from worries - Most never happens.  3. Live simply and appreciate what you have.  4. Give more.  5. Expect less from people but more from God. You have two choices...smile and close this page, or pass this along to someone else to share the lesson ....... I did!!  GOD BLESS YOU....!

Few Sardarji Jokes

Sardar: My mobile bill how much?
Call centre girl: sir, just dial 123to know current bill status
Sardar: Stupid, not CURRENT BILL my MOBILE BILL. ============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ========= ========= ========= =
Sardar: Miss, Did u call me on my mobile?
Teacher: Me? No, why?
Sardar: Yesterday I saw in my mobile- 1 Miss Call". ============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ========= ========= ========= ====
Judge: Don't U have shame? It is d 3rd time U R coming to court.
Sardar to judge: U R coming daily, don't U have shame? ============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ========= ========= ========= ======
Sir: What is difference between Orange and Apple?
Sardar: Color of Orange is orange, but color of Apple is not APPLE.
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Sardar in airplane going 2 Bombay .. While its landing he shouted: " Bombay ... Bombay "
Air hostess said: "B silent."
Sardar: "Ok. Ombay. Ombay"
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Sardar got a sms from his girl friend:
"I MISS YOU"
Sardarji replied:
"I Mr YOU" !!.
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Sardar: Doctor! My Son swallowed a key
Doctor: When?
Sardar: 3 Months Ago
Dr : Wat were u doing till now?
Sardar: We were using duplicate key
Dr: So why did you come today?
Sardar: We lost the duplicate key!!

Jack and Jill in todays TV Channels

Received by Mail


Here’s how the Indian TV news channells would report the Jack and Jill nursery rhyme. All names (except those of Jack and Jill), are fictitious.

Prashant - TV Anchor
Two persons have been injured in a freak climbing accident. Jack and his companion Jill had gone up a hill to fetch a pail of water when Jack fell down and broke his crown. Jill came tumbling after. Live from the hill, our reporter, Amrita Shah, takes up the story.

Amrita Shah
Thank you Prashant. Well, as you say, two persons - Jack and Jill - had gone up a hill to fetch a pail of water. Suddenly, Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after. Prashant.

Prashant
Thank you Amrita. What do we know about the hill?

Amrita
Not too much. Jack was going up the hill to fetch a pail of water when he fell down and broke his crown. Jill came tumbling after.

[Headline appears at the foot of the TV screen: “hill breaks crown of pail-boy Jack”]

Prashant
What news of Jack and Jill?

Amrita
Prashant, it seems that Jack had gone up the hill to fetch a pail of water. We know nothing about the pail, or how heavy it was but it seems that Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after. I have here with me, an eyewitness to the accident, Mr Shahid
Trivedi. Mr Shahid, tell us what you saw.

Shahid Trivedi
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after.

[Headline appears at the foot of the TV screen: “Boy and girl tumble
down hill. Water spilled”]

Amrita
Jack and Jill. What do we know about them? Are they brother and sister? Are they married? Just what were they doing on the hill together?

Shahid Trivedi
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail a water.

Amrita
And what happened next?

Shahid Trivedi
Jack fell down and broke his crown

Amrita
Go on.

Shahid Trivedi
And Jill came tumbling after.

Amrita
Prashant, there you have it. Two people innocently going about their business to fetch a pail of water when one of them falls down, breaks his crown, and the other comes tumbling after. Back to you in the studio Prashant.

[Headline appears at the foot of the TV screen: “Water errand ends in tragedy”]

Prashant
I have with me in the studio now, Professor Chandrashekar Belagare from the Indian Institute of Applied Hill Sciences. Professor: a hill; Jack; Jill; a pail of water. A tragedy waiting to happen?

Professor
Well that depends on the hill, the two persons, the object they were carrying and the conditions underfoot. Let us look at the evidence so far.

Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water.
Jack fell down
And broke his crown
And Jill came tumbling after.

Clearly, one would suspect that if Jack’s fall was severe enough to break his crown then the surface of the hill must have been slippery or unstable. But I think we’re overlooking something quite fundamental here. Who was carrying the pail? Jack fell down and broke his crown and – this is the key – Jill came tumbling after. If Jack and Jill had been carrying the pail together, would they not have fallen at the same time? The fact that Jill came tumbling after suggests that Jack lost his footing first and perhaps knocked Jill over as he slipped.

Prashant
Professor thank you very much. So there we have it, two persons – Jack and Jill – went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after. Later in the programme, Osama bin Laden captured in Afghanistan, President Bush
says rent-boy menage-a-trois was "just a brief lapse of judgement", and Pakistan launches nuclear warheads against key Indian cities. But next up, join us after the break for a studio discussion about hills,boys and girls and whether water-fetching trips should be supervised.
We’ll be right back...

"Why Women Are Strong But Cry Easy!"....An Article with Truth..

One day, a young boy asked his Mom. 
"Why are you crying?" 
"Because I'm a woman" she told him. 
"I don't understand," he said. 
His Mom just hugged him and said, "And you never will, but that's okay." 

Later the little boy asked his father, "Why does Mom seem to cry for no reason?" 
"All women cry for no reason" was all his dad could say. 

The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry. 
Finally, he put in a call to God. 
When God got back to him, he asked, "God, why do women cry so easily?" 
God answered, "When I made woman, I decided she had to be special. 
I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet her arms gentle nough to give comfort. 
I gave her the inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times will come, even from her own children. 
I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going and take care of her family and friends, even when everyone else gives up, through sickness and fatigue, without complaining. 
I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her badly. She has the very special power to make a child's boo-boo feel better and to quell a teenager's anxieties and fears. 
I gave her strength to care for her husband, despite faults, and I fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart. 
I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly. 
For all of this hard work, I also gave her a tear to shed. It is hers to use whenever needed and is her only weakness." 
"When you see her cry, tell her how much you love her and all she does for everyone. And even though she may still cry, you will have made her heart feel good." 
"She is special!"

Shimla: The Government of Himachal has finalised an action plan for total computerisation of the Rural Development Department which would cover all the 76 development blocks and 3,243 Gram Panchayats of the hilly Indian state.

Disclosing this at a meeting, Information Technology Secretary BK Aggarwal said that the block management information system (MIS), a computerised solution developed by the National Informatics Centre (NIC) for maintenance of accounts and monitoring of construction works, will be implemented in all the 76 blocks.

He said that the software has been found very useful during trial run in Kandaghat block and added that the system works on double entry system of accounting and generates all mandatory reports on a click of mouse.

Aggarwal said that the financial transactions are captured directly from the vouchers and linked with development works being executed through Panchayats.

"Video conferencing facility will be created in each block with total expenditure of about Rs 4 crore. This facility will be used for providing training to functionaries at block level about various schemes of Rural Development," the IT Secretary said.

He said that it will also be used by the farmers for taking advice from the experts of Agriculture, Horticulture, Animal Husbandry and Fisheries departments and added that the network will be extended to the agriculture and horticulture universities also.

"The video conferencing between farmers and experts will be scheduled on fixed days at each block," Aggarwal said.

Rural Development Secretary Shrikant Baldi informed that to bring transparency in the implementation of National Rural Employment Guarantee Scheme (NREGS), all the information like name of the works, money spent and names of the workers will be provided on the Internet.

He said that MIS Software called 'Swaraj' will be implemented in at least 100 Panchayats on pilot basis in the first phase and afterwards it will be rolled out in all the 3,243 Panchayats in the state.

"Swaraj is a comprehensive software covering almost all the functions of Panchayat like birth and death registration, maintenance of pariwar register, village baseline information and construction works management," Badli said.